Steel Kaleidoscopes

Dallas, 1963

Final moments in Camelot.

American Idol: Second Round, Females

Lots of bartenders and a Lushington in the competition. Kind of a letdown after the boys. Here's the order of how the 10 female finalists performed last night, with the odds of winning it all in May:

1. Syesha Mercado
Soulful performance. Interesting twist introducing Mr. Jones, and she sang very well. Thought she struggled with some of the softer parts, but was in her groove with the big vocal opportunities. Best of the bunch on a mostly bad night.
Odds of winning: 8-1

2. Carly Smithson
Much better than last week. Anyone who tackles Ann Wilson takes a risk, but she rose to the challenge with a soaring, melodic performance. She sang her heart out (pun intended) and won't be back to pouring Guinness just yet.
Odds of winning: 15-1

3. Brooke White
How does a hair stylist have bad hair? The Carly Simon comparison is legit. Wished she hadn't skipped the Saratoga verse. Thought the guitar got in her way (she stopped playing at one point), but the judges loved her. Good job.
Odds of winning: 25-1

4. Ramiele Malubay
Waiting for her to do something. She has potential and the look, but thought this was just OK vocally. Is she a dormant volcano ready to erupt or are we expecting too much? Time to take a stand and express herself.
Odds of winning: 20-1

5. Kristy Lee Cook
Bad song choice (David Lee Roth was better than Linda Ronstadt with this) that did nothing to propel her, except keep her alive for another week. Thought this was over the top and boring. Not memorable.
Odds of winning: 50-1

6. Asia'h Epperson
Eric Carmen blockbuster vocal is attempted by many, but mastered by few. This wasn't one of them. LaToya London was terrific on this in Season 3, and that set the bar. This was not close. Pitchy and missed one of the biggest notes.
Odds of winning: 25-1

7. Kady Malloy
Her personality is going to hurt her. Needs to wipe the pouty look off her pretty face. She looks angry, a real mean girl. Tough to sing Heart after a competitor rocks it out in a big way. Thought she was much better last week.
Odds of winning: 35-1

8. Alexandrea Lushington
What happened? Took the night off. Sounded like she was sick. Picked a schmaltzy Chicago song ("If You Leave Me Now") and did nothing with it. Pitchy in quite a few spots. Would love to see her sing Anita Baker next week.
Odds of winning: 25-1

9. Amanda Overmyer
Hard to cover Steve Walsh, one of rock's most underrated singers. Kind of painful to both watch and listen to. Thought she looked like a stray cat. She rides a Harley? That's a surprise. Needs to find a different reality show.
Odds of winning: 100-1

10. Alaina Whitaker
Oversang an Olivia Newton-John song. John Travolta would have turned and ran. Thought she hit several bad notes. Tough song to cover and she failed. Thought her blue dress looked like a poorly hung curtain. Just bad.
Odds of winning: 50-1

American Idol: Second Round, Males

This was one of the most entertaining performance nights in the last few seasons. Gotta love the '70s. Here's the order of how the 10 male finalists performed last night, with the odds of winning it all in May:

1. David Archuleta
Jennifer Hudson sang this wonderfully in Season 3, but this kid's version was better. Excellent rendition of "Imagine," with pure, clean vocals. Memorable in its tonality and delivery. Very likable contestant who will go far.
Odds of winning: 8-1

2. David Hernandez
Wow. This version of the Temptations' "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" was light years ahead of what everyone sang, until Mr. Archuleta came along. As Paula pointed out, he told a story. Terrific vocal and unique, show-stopping delivery. Loved it.
Odds of winning: 8-1

3. Luke Menard
Difficult song to sing (Queen's "Killer Queen") but he pulled it off. Sang in a falsetto for most of the song, chasing some semblance of Freddie Mercury's genius. Lots of lyrics packed into this and he executed flawlessly. Nice job.
Odds of winning: 15-1

4. Chikezie
Talk about a 180. Went from horrible to legitimate in one week. Not sure he's the next George Huff, but for this night, Chikezie was "in it to win it." Left nothing backstage and had fun with it. Playful banter with Simon will help.
Odds of winning: 35-1

5. David Cook
Good vocal from the bartender and word guy. It's easy now to picture him mixing a Cosmo and talking about superficial sentimentalities. Thought the guitar and crowd involvement cut into the purity of his voice, but it rocked anyway.
Odds of winning: 20-1

6. Robbie Carrico
"Hot Blooded" was a good song choice for this mediocre rocker, but he didn't raise the bar. Thought it was pretty safe and straightforward. He didn't make any mistakes, but he didn't set himself apart either. Just OK.
Odds of winning: 20-1

7. Jason Yeager
If this was karaoke, it was good karaoke. Liked his Southern, gritsy approach to a classic Doobie Brothers song ("Long Train Runnin' ") but he thought he was better than he was. The judges were harsh and America agrees. Over and out, thanks for playing.
Odds of winning: 50-1

8. Danny Noriega
Looks like a soccer mom, doesn't he? Hard to get past the feminine look and lispy voice but he did get some very loud applause. Singing Karen Carpenter just made his whole approach even weirder. Pretty boy won't go far.
Odds of winning: 50-1

9. Jason Castro
Not very good. Thought he struggled with this, and sounded weak and unsure of himself behind his guitar. Andy Gibb sugar pop was not a good song choice. Seemed like he skipped or forgot the words in one spot. Forgettable.
Odds of winning: 20-1

10. Michael Johns
Another 180, in a very bad way. Rule No. 1: Guys should not try to sing Stevie Nicks. If you love Fleetwood Mac, why not try Lindsey Buckingham's "Sentimental Lady"? Thought this was shaky, off-key and miserable. Disappointing.
Odds of winning: 20-1

Lyrics of the Day

"I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's. And his hair was perfect."

— Warren Zevon

Another Odd Dream

So in this dream, I'm a radio newscaster and I'm sitting down at the top of the hour to read the news.

But instead of phonetically enabled teleprompter copy, someone hands me the latest edition of Reader's Digest.

Flipping through the pages I stumble through the "news," which is not really news. I'm begging the producer to go to commercial so I can regroup, but I'm left on the air, my random banter echoing in my headset as I listen to my broadcasting career evaporate.

Cow

Moo.

Home

Dear dad:

Home is an Ogunquit sunset.

Home is mom's smile.

Home is the breeze whistling through the pines off Wild Beach.

Home is the boom of your son-in-law's laughter (either one).

Home is raking leaves on Leggs Mills Road.

Home is the sound of mom mixing mashed potatoes.

Home is bowing your head in reverent prayer.

Home is tail-gating with Uncle Doug, stuffing your pipe with tobacco under the setting Eastham sun.

Home is fixing a leaky faucet on Monday, the one day you gave to yourself.

Home is being a dad for your four very different but well-adjusted children.

Home is the faces of your friends at Marston's Corner.

Home is Montovani and Robert Goulet on the turntable.

Home is hamburgers and French fries on Saturday night.

Home is sneaking a second glass of wine when mom's not looking.

Home is a sermon from the pulpit.

Home is bringing in zucchini from the garden.

Home is an oil change in the driveway.

Home is the well-lighted hill at Grace Community and the rushing falls at Glenerie Chapel.

Home is watching "Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color" on Sunday nights, a family of six eating mom's carefully made toasted sandwiches with potato chips and black olives.

Home is "Gigi," "Oklahoma!" and "Fiddler on the Roof."

Home is being a humble servant to God, who continues to look out for you and your family.

Home is being a loving, faithful husband for 59 years.

American Idol: First Round, Females

Can't help but notice how white everyone's teeth are this season. First half was kind of blah and the second half was pretty damn good.

Here's the order of how the 12 female finalists performed last night, with the odds of winning it all in May:

1. Syesha Mercado
Powerhouse performance from one of the early favorites. Great song choice ("Tobacco Road") and she nailed it. She'll have to be careful not to go too far over the top. Has perhaps the best set of pipes with a personality to match.
Odds of winning: 8-1

2. Kady Malloy
Judges were way off on this one. Thought she was one of the best. Loved her soft, sultry approach. Terrific talent who has both the looks and the voice. She needs to be careful of the camera when she's not singing. Clearly, she was scowling after harsh critique.
Odds of winning: 15-1

3. Alexandrea Lushington
The last time we heard "Spinning Wheel," the talented Bo Bice sang it. Excellent range, hit every note and showed unique, inventive stage presence. Simon was way off on this one as well. She'll be around in May.
Odds of winning: 15-1

4. Asia'h Epperson
Tackled Janis with spirit and flash. Passionate and powerful, has the chops to sing anything. Performance wasn't perfect, but good enough to start building a fan base. Get used to seeing her.
Odds of winning: 15-1

5. Carly Smithson
The tattoo artist and young Grace Slick look-a-like sounds a little like Barbra Streisand. Full, velvety voice. Professional who has the capability of getting better each week. Audition and Hollywood week exposure will help her win votes.
Odds of winning: 20-1

6. Ramiele Malubay
Boring. Song took forever to get going. Too bad, because expectations were high. Dusty Springfield wasn't a good fit for her. Clearly has the talent, but will need to showcase her voice more. Looking forward to next week as she can do much better.
Odds of winning: 20-1

7. Brooke White
Has a Carly Simon thing going for her, kind of a Martha's Vineyard windswept beach look. Liked this version of "Happy Together" better than David Cook, who sang it Tuesday night. Decent job, but will need to crank it up to make an impact.
Odds of winning: 35-1

8. Alaina Whitaker
The birthday girl Has the Madonna tooth gap going for her. Liked the mellow opening but had trouble when she opened it up. Needs better control over the big notes. Spiral Starecase's (yes, stare) "More Today Than Yesterday" was neat song choice.
Odds of winning: 40-1

9. Amanda Overmyer
In the end, Motorhead's Lemmy is not going to beat George Michael in this kind of venue. Slopped her way through Muddy Waters' "Baby Please Don't Go." Appreciate the originality but this was more about the music than her voice. Not sure she can sing.
Odds of winning: 75-1

10. Kristy Lee Cook
The horse whisperer is going to be put out to pasture if she doesn't step it up. Has more potential than this but played it safe with a terrible song choice ("Rescue Me"). Where's the snooze button? Suggestion: Get a flu shot.
Odds of winning: 75-1

11. Joanne Borgella
Ouch. Not good. Thankfully, Simon told her the truth. Another one competing with her backup singers. Had lots of pitch  problems and some timing issues. Kind of a mess.  No where near the top talent in this group.
Odds of winning: 100-1

12. Amy Davis
Tricky song choice with Connie Francis' "Where the Boys Are." Kind of painful. Sounded like she was an octave too low for the entire song. Certainly has the look, but performance was uncomfortable and barely listenable.
Odds of winning: 75-1

American Idol: First Round, Males

Here we are again, American Idol, v. 7. Thought Paula looked like Barney's wife, Betty, with the odd matted hair and chiseled face. Where's Mr. Slate? The male talent here is better than last season, when it was the Blake Lewis beat-box show every night.

Here's the order of how the 12 male finalists performed last night, with the odds of winning it all in May:

1. Michael Johns
The Aussie tackles Jim Morrison. Sounded somewhat like Eddie Vedder but falls short of the Lizard King. Very polished and should be considered one of the favorites. Not as good as Chris Daughtry or Lewis, but we'll see him singing in May.
Odds of winning: 8-1

2. Robbie Carrico
This season's Bo Bice? Anyone who sings Three Dog Night deserves some props. Didn't blow anyone away. Think there's more to him than we've seen. Melodic, consistent, safe. Whitest teeth in the group.
Odds of winning: 10-1

3. David Hernandez
Cool, unique gospel opening to Wilson Pickett's "In the Midnight Hour," but what happened with that last note? Yikes. The good news is that most of his performance was excellent. Should sail through with ease.
Odds of winning: 10-1

4. Jason Castro
The drummer from Texas comes out strumming a guitar and singing Lovin' Spoonful's "Daydream." Would have fit in nicely at the original Woodstock. Thought he had some pitch problems but was one of the better singers. Arlo Guthrie would be proud.
Odds of winning: 10-1

5. Luke Menard
The carpet cleaner turned midnight cowboy for an evening has potential. Tender voice. Looks like a combination of Matthew Fox and James Van Der beek and that alone should get him through, despite the judges' negative comments.
Odds of winning: 15-1

6. David Archuleta
Jackson Browne Jr. Terrible song choice with "Shop Around." Got lost with the heavy-handed background vocals. Needs to save something like this for after he proves he can sing. Powerful ending but not convinced.
Odds of winning: 15-1

7. David Cook
The bartender had a good song choice (the Turtles' "Happy Together") but he didn't deliver. The tempo was all wrong. Tried to take a classic rock rock song and grunge it. Didn't work. He'll get another chance before he's pouring more shots of tequila at 2 a.m.
Odds of winning: 25-1

8. Jason Yeager
Unique song choice with "Moon River." Not bad. Just OK. Thought it was pitchy in spots. Lacked consistency, but overall sang well enough to win some fans and earn the chance to come back. Daddy angle always plays well on AI.
Odds of winning: 35-1

9. Colton Berry
Elvis impersonator. Not a good move for anyone. The bar is way too high. Singing Elvis is like remaking "Citizen Kane." Forgettable performance that was safe. You can't be safe and sing Elvis. Probably capable of more, but don't see it yet.
Odds of winning: 35-1

10. Garrett Haley
Throwback to '70s pop idols. In a recording studio, the flaws could be resolved. Thought he was flat and kind of stumbled through this. Kind of creepy. May have been nervous. Didn't create anything new.
Odds of winning: 50-1

11. Danny Noriega
So this little squirrelly kid does Elvis? Girls will vote for him, but it's tough to get past his fragile, mousy appearance. Not terrible, but you need cojones to sing Elvis. Maybe the Vegas circuit, but not Hollywood.
Odds of winning: 20-1

12. Chikezie
What's with the one name? He's no Prince. Train wreck. Off key throughout and was uncomfortable to watch. "Jacuzzi" was like a throwback to a bad '70s nightclub singer. Seems like a nice kid, but doesn't stand a chance.
Odds of winning: 100-1

Boise, Idaho

Just another Tuesday, wondering why accountants no longer use columnar pads.