Steel Kaleidoscopes

Aquafina's Rebate

Rebates are supposed to be a little bit complicated.

Rebates are sometimes a selling point, as the consumer does the math in his or her head and calculates how much the product will actually cost when securing the rebate.

I'm not sure of the percentage of rebates that are actually redeemed, but I know it's low because consumers toss out receipts or, even more common, discard the packaging with the UPC number necessary to cash in.

Aquafina bottled water, however, has made cashing in its rebate nearly impossible. At least for those of us who have better things to do.

Aquafina is offering a $5 rebate when you purchase two 24-packs of 16.9 ounce bottled water. Here's the catch: You have to peel the UPC label off of each bottle to receive the rebate.

Who is going to do that?

I stopped hauling bottles into a store's recycling area once I had a job that paid me more than minimum wage. Why would I take the time to peel the label off of every bottle of water I drink?

It's just silly.

The Roadhouse

There used to be a quaint little Italian restaurant in Bolton, Mass., called Silvester's. Dinner at Silvester's was a Friday night staple, a glass or two of Amarone at the bar before enjoying a generous serving of veal piccata.

Then, without much warning, Silvester's closed and sold the business. The new owners  completely renovated the old place before recently unveiling the Bolton Roadhouse Bar & Grill.

Bottom line: If you loved Silvester's, you probably won't like the Roadhouse.

Silvester's made a name for itself with delicious food, sizable portions and a friendly, courteous staff. The Roadhouse's food is average at best and the staff's professionalism is spotty.

We tried to make reservations for a party of 10 on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, but were told they did not take reservations. We explained we were coming in after our daughter's christening and that we wanted to be sure we had a table waiting for us. "No problem," we were told. "It shouldn't be busy. You'll be fine."

So, we arrived in three different cars -- family and friends from Naples, Fla., Buffalo and Leominster. Upon our arrival, 10 of us, including a 2-year-old and a baby, barely inside the door and shivering from the cold, are greeted by the hostess who asks us if we have reservations.

Huh?

We explained that we called two weeks ago and that we were told the Roadhouse did not take reservations. The hostess, clearly with an attitude, said, "Well, you're not in the book."

So here we are, 10 of us standing in the bar, feeling like the Roadhouse was going to do us a "favor" by getting together a table for 10. Several people in the group wanted to leave, but when you're traveling in three cars with a 2-year-old and a baby, restaurant-hopping is not a good option.

After a few minutes, we were seated in a separate room, which was a nice gesture, but the damage had been done. Our waitress was wonderful, but the attitude of the group had changed.  The restaurant had made a mistake, and then made it worse by putting a hostess on the front line with poor communication skills and zero emotional intelligence.

Will we eat at the Roadhouse again? Doubtful. In the restaurant business, customer service is everything. And when the food is average, there's just not a compelling reason to return.

Marriott Dilutes its Brand

Brand is everything in business.

So why would a company risk diluting its brand?

Simple.

In the quest for higher profit margins, it's easy to look for alternative revenue streams. Mondavi, clearly a strong wine brand in the '70s, launched the Woodbridge label as a way to appeal to budget-conscious wine drinkers.

Although it clearly reads Woodbridge on the label, it's still part of the Mondavi family, which had spent years building a reputation as one of Napa Valley's premier wineries.

Enter Marriott and its Fairfield label. On a recent business trip to Indianapolis, I booked a room at the Fairfield, assuming because it was a Marriott that I would have the expected luxuries (wireless Internet, a restaurant, airport shuttle service). The Marriott was a little bit outside the city, as most hotels were booked due to the Solheim Cup.

Yes, there was wireless. But it was not working. Luckily, the side-burned, teen-aged kid at the front desk found me an old-fashioned connector that tapped me into the free signal.

The room itself was OK, but there was a hot tub in the middle of the room surrounded by two large mirrors. All of a sudden I felt like I was in an hourly-rate motel, not a Marriott.

After looking through the guest guide, I found, to my hungry dismay, that there was no restaurant. To eat, I had to navigate, by foot, over a six-lane highway to a Longhorns (which was actually pretty good). But I wasn't sure it was worth risking my life.

The complimentary airport shuttle that was listed was not complimentary. Instead, the side-burned, teen-age kid at the front desk reserved me a cab at 7:30, when I asked for 8:15. No biggie. But it was not free, as advertised.

I could live without an ironing board and got by without the in-house restaurant. And heck, who am I to complain when you see what's going on in the world?

This is just a small rant to warn fellow travelers when booking Marriott. There are several tiers, like a glass of Mondavi.

Be careful what you ask for. A glass of Mondavi at the Marriott may just mean you're drinking a glass of Woodbridge in a hotel room with a hot tub.

Brand is everything. If you have one, protect it.

Bad Customer Service at Dell

Just a follow-up to my short rant the other day against Dell, one of the most overrated companies in the world for customer service.

Customer service rep Joe Landry did not return my phone call after I left him four separate messages. Thinking maybe my billing question would be answered by someone else in customer service, I called the general number. Anyone would be better than Joe Landry, I presumed.

After speaking with Harry (no last name) in customer service,  he deferred me to the billing department, where I once again explained my billing issue with Bruce (no last name). Bruce referred me back to customer service.

What followed was ridiculous. After calling back customer service, someone (I was too steamed to remember the name), referred me back to billing. After explaining that billing had referred me to customer service,  the customer service guy patched me into billing, where I spoke with both reps at the same time. When I presented my issue once again, the billing guy and customer service guy began arguing in front of me over whose issue this really was.

I kid you not. Dell's crack customer service team and its billing team are duking it out in front of me. After the billing guy gives in and says that, yes, this is a billing issue, the customer service guy exits the call. The billing guy says he'll chase down my answer and that he'll call me back tomorrow at the same time.

Guess what happens the next day? Yup. No call.

Finally, I just paid my bill, which I believed to be the incorrect amount, so as not to incur late fees.

Hopefully, other Dell customers will take the time to write about their experiences with customer service and Dell's fraudulent cover will be exposed.

Plainly put, Dell has no clue about how to satisfy its customers. Is the product good? Yeah, I would agree to that. But just hope your purchase goes flawlessly and you don't need assistance.

If you do, good luck.

And I hope your rep is not Joe Landry.

No Customer Service at Dell

All I seem to hear these days is, "when you think of customer service, you think of Dell."

Well, Dell's customer service is vastly overrated.

Let me explain.

I decide to make an investment in a new computer system and don't hold back. We're talking the Dell Precision Workstation 370 with 3.20 GHz, 2GB, dual 74 GB hard drives, dual 19-inch flat-panel monitors.  And so on.

Serious stuff for the digital video editor in me.

When I go to make the purchase, I'm offered a 2 percent discount if I open up a Dell account. Hmm. No-brainer here, considering the bill I've run up. OK, I say.

So the bill comes, but there's no 2 percent discount. No problem, I say. I'll just call Dell's "crack" customer service department and get this straightened out. Should just be a few minutes of my time.

Wrong.

My contact, Joe Landry, has yet to return my call. Three times I've left him a message, and three times he's ignored me. And his voice mail politely says, "I usually return calls within the hour." Meanwhile, my bill is due and I have no choice but to pay the wrong amount since the balance is now on a credit card -- a Dell credit card.

So Joe Landry at Dell, if you're out there, you need some serious training. You're in the business to return phone calls and resolve customer issues. Now I'll have to be creative to try to get an answer.

Dell, a customer service benchmark?

Hardly.

P.O. Boxes

Why is having a P.O. box such a confusing concept?

When you try to buy something online, many places want a physical address, even if what you're buying fits easily in your P.O. box. When you try to use a credit card, the form field isn't set up for a P.O. box, then rejects your credit card because you're not entering the exact address that appears on your card (which is a P.O. box).

Stupid.

Then there are the postal workers who get angry with you and don't give you your mail if someone tries to send something to your street address.

So you've got retailers who won't ship to a P.O. box and the post office that won't deliver something that's yours if it's not addressed to a P.O. box.

P.O. boxes are one of life's idiosyncrasies that lack universal compliance.

Spirit Airlines' Snafu

Spirit Airlines is not yet ready for prime time.

We decided to give the relatively new airline a chance (rates were good) for our Thanksgiving travel and were inconvenienced on both legs of the journey.

We booked our tickets through Expedia, but were never given seats. Upon arrival in Providence, we finally had a chance to select our seats for our Fort Myers destination at the self-serve kiosk. Better yet, we were given the chance to upgrade to business class for only $35 apiece. We did.

After standing in line to get through security, we heard our names paged over the intercom. The page instructed us to report back to the ticket counter because "there was a problem with our tickets." So, after descending and ascending the escalator with our carry-on luggage and standing with hundreds of people in line, we had to leave the line and go to the ticket counter, only to have a service rep tell us our seats had already been sold. Bottom line: The kiosks were not aligned with the main ticketing system.

We were issued new seats, and given a pass to move to the head of the line. Which was fine. Except for the fact that the testosterone-fueled security guards gave us plenty of grief for moving to the head of the wrong line.

Once we were comfortably seated on the plane after a 90-minute delay, two people moved into the seats behind us, bumped from their original seats because the airline sold their seats twice. Again, systems problems.

On our return trip, we dealt directly with the service reps to get our seats (still couldn't confirm Spirit seats through Expedia). For some reason, Spirit had booked us separately. The rep, after briefly looking for two seats together, asked us if we wanted to upgrade to business class. We said OK.

But we waited. And waited. And waited. For the next 30 minutes, we stood at the counter as four different reps tried to confirm our seats. Something with the damn computer wouldn't spit out one of the boarding passes. Meanwhile, the line to get through security was getting longer and longer as we waited for the service reps to figure out how to master the computer system.

Finally, we got our tickets and, eventually, after a 30-minute delay, boarded the plane. Once again, we heard stewardesses discussing that there were people in the back of the plane whose seats had been sold twice.

To their credit, the Spirit reps were very friendly and courteous. They just don't have their systems figured out. And on a Thanksgiving travel weekend, that's bad news for passengers.

This is why you get to the airport two hours early.

Marie-Michelle's

The restaurant business is a difficult one.

Consistency is critical to success -- and consistency is achieved by so few. Favorite restaurants can fall quickly out of favor with one bad experience. Unfortunately, this is what happened to Marie-Michelle's, one of the best restaurants in Naples, Fla.

The food, as usual, was terrific. The sea bass, salmon and duck dishes were meticulously prepared with pristine presentation. The Chablis was chilled perfectly, crisp and clean. The chocolate mousse was divine.

What hurt Marie-Michelle's was its pompous wait staff. After ignoring our request to be seated outside when we made the reservations (two from our party who arrived early were seated inside near the bar), we were finally moved to a table on the inside perimeter of the outdoor area (next to smokers). This was still not what we had requested, as it is the tables by the water that lure us time after time into this restaurant on Venetian Bay. Finally, the ruffled maitre d' seated us where we had requested.

The reason, we assumed, that we were seated inside was because it had just rained and the outside tables were wet. But it had cleared and our group -- four cabin-fever Northeasterners -- wanted to bask in the steamy, breezy summer-like evening. After seating us, we heard one of the waiters complain by saying, "I'm not serving them" as he threw up his arms in disgust. The maitre d' mumbled something under his breath. More hand gestures.

We sat in stunned silence, debating whether or not we should just leave. These frazzled Frenchmen were clearly put off by our insistence to sit outside. Yes, someone had to walk 20 extra feet to serve us. But instead of bitching about us in the privacy of a back room or the kitchen, they visibly made us feel uncomfortable, like we were putting them out.

At these prices, that's unacceptable.

When our waiter took our orders, I casually asked him if Marie was around (we have met Marie, the owner, and she's a wonderfully attentive professional who once offered my wife her jacket because she was cold). Once the waiter knew we knew Marie (were we close friends? business acquaintances?), his tone changed. The service was fine the rest of the meal and we were even offered complimentary glasses of Port with our dessert.

Didn't matter. The seemingly impenetrable reputation of one of our favorite restaurants had been sullied.

The meal and setting were wonderful. The wait staff needs additional training. This is Naples, not the Left Bank.

Pearle Vision Follies

I wear glasses.

That's why I need to vent.

Think twice before buying your glasses from Pearle Vision.

It took me five trips to finally get a satisfactory pair of lenses inserted into my frames. And Pearle Vision's customer service is poor.

Visit 1:
Josh is helpful, choosing fashionable frames for me. We sit down to do the paperwork. Because I'm a card-carrying Blue Cross member, I get a nice discount. This is why I'm at Pearle Vision. If you've bought a pair of glasses lately, you know that the cost rivals a new TV. Josh tells me I'm forced to buy the two-year warranty, as this is a Blue Cross mandate. Baffled, I question him on this. He leaves to "check with the manager," then comes back and says "Hmm. I was wrong. Thought you had no choice with Blue Cross." Scam thwarted. Full commision gone from Josh's pocket.

Visit 2:
Arrive to pick up my new glasses. On first visit, was told this would take a few minutes. Bitchy girl behind the counter tells me to come back in a half-hour. Half-blind, I browse the bargain books across the mall aisle to kill time. My glasses are finally ready. I put them on and sense something's not right with the lenses. I look at them in the light. There are stretch marks from the cutting process. Bitchy girl behind the counter stays bitchy. Tells me to come back in two days. They'll recut the lenses.

Visit 3:
Arrive to pick up my new lenses. Bitchy girl behind the counter is still bitchy. I bring a magazine to pass the time. The wait isn't as long. Manager arrives. Bitchy girl behind the counter isn't so bitchy. She goo-goos with someone's baby. Manages a half-smile with me. My glasses appear from the back room. I try them on, and something's still not right. The left lens is fine. The right lens has stretch marks. Bitchy girl behind the counter is a little nicer. I'm a little angry. Bitchy girl behind the counter tells me to come back in two days. This time, they'll cut the lenses "in a different lab."

Visit 4:
Arrive to pick up my new lenses. This time, the manager is with bitchy girl behind the counter. He's nice. He's professional. He's apologetic. I'm feeling better. Lenses look fine. Manager throws in a free box of moist cleaning wipes for my troubles. Elated with my new glasses, I have a grilled cheese and fries at the Friendly's next door. Two days later, I take a close look at the lenses under a stronger light. There, on the right lens, are stretch marks.

Visit 5:
Arrive to pick up my new lenses. Bitchy girl behind the counter is busy with a customer. I wait 10 minutes before being helped (OK, they were busy). Friendly associate behind the counter brings out my new lenses. They used a different kind of lens, one that won't scratch so easily. Problem is, that wasn't the problem. It was the cutting process. Whatever. Friendly associate behind the counter throws in another box of moist cleaning wipes with a spray bottle. Off I go.

Think I'm all set.

Kodak is Overrated

Do not, I repeat, do not purchase the Kodak DX3600 digital camera.

Just a little more than a year after buying one (barely exceeding the 1-year warranty), the camera simply stopped operating correctly. When you depress the button to shoot, the zoom reacts by moving in and out. Something internally is obviously skewed. I've treated the camera well. It has never been dropped, bumped or misused.

Kodak's service center gave me a quote of $180 to diagnose and resolve the problem. That's more than half the price of the camera. Ridiculous.

I've had a Pentax K-1000 for more than 25 years and it still operates beautifully, even after dropping it while descending on foot from Murren in the Swiss Alps.

Kodak should stand behind its products, and consider the cost of service based on the age of the camera. Paying $180 to fix a $320 camera does not seem reasonable.